We have always heard the saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder", and I guess in a sense a long distance relationship will make a couple's relationship stronger, if they last through it.
Because of my father's occupation in life (being in the military), a lot of my previous relationships have ended because I was forced to move away and the distance proved too hard. However, I thought after I moved away to college, and my dad retired from the Army, that I wouldn't have to deal with long distance anymore. Well, I was wrong in one case- summer vacation. So far it has turned out to be anything put a vacation, it has just turned into a grueling waiting game for the three and a half months between the end of spring semester, and the start of fall.
Yes, I have endured much harder, and longer bouts of long distance relationships before this summer, but I guess it was how easy I thought these nearly four months of long distance were going to be that ended up making it be so hard. It's hard to leave someone you care about, no matter what the circumstances, but when you leave someone you spend almost every second of the day with, when you leave the person you sleep with nearly every night, the person you wake up to almost every morning, the person you eat all your meals with, it's even harder.
I love Josh and I's relationship- when we're together. When we're apart, it's not so great. Josh and I went a whole eight months without getting into a true fight, but three weeks into our summer long, long distance, we got into our first real fight. It sucked. The distance between us is long, and the patience between us at this distance is short. I find myself more irritable when we're apart, and more on edge, especially with him. And that's not fair, to either of us.
I don't know what it is, long distance has never had this effect on me before. Maybe it's because my feelings for Josh are much stronger, and go much deeper than those I've felt for any of my past flames. Maybe it's because when we're apart it seems like he doesn't care, and I feel as though I am just being whiny and clingy, needing as much attention as I do. Maybe it's because I'm too afraid to talk to him about these things, so instead I write about them in my blog when I should be telling this to the person who needs to hear it.
All I do know is that I really miss Josh, and August cannot come fast enough.
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